48. Choosing Kindness In The Face of Terrorism and Political Violence With Figen Murray
Often, we feel complacent with our safety. We don’t suspect we’ll ever be victims of terrorism and political violence. But in a time of prevalent online connectivity, hate spreads so easily. So, we need to be more prudent about our security. More importantly, we must help each other hone understanding and compassion to work amidst differences rather than allow hate to propagate.
In this episode, Figen shares her journey in carrying on her son Martyn Hett’s legacy after losing him to terrorism and political violence. Here, she recounts how she has dealt with grief and learned to forgive the man who killed her son. Figen now campaigns for Martyn’s Law which aims to improve our security. Through her story, we learn about resilience, moving on with positivity, and the importance of education in countering hateful acts.
Tune in to the episode to be inspired by Figen’s cause. Also, learn the importance of kindness and compassion amidst terrorism and political violence.
3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Gain valuable insights from Figen’s experience of losing her son to terrorism and political violence.
Learn the importance of educating yourself and others on safety and security.
Be inspired to spread kindness and reconnect with your humanity.
Resources
● Connect with Figen: Twitter | Facebook | website
● Check out Figen’s knitting, Peace Bears and book, Bears Have Issues Too
● Visit Martyn’s social media accounts: Instagram | Twitter | Youtube
● Tales to Inspire by Krish Patel
Episode Highlights
[1:46] Terrorism and Political Violence in a Manchester Concert
● Around 10:30 p.m., on May 22, 2017, a suicide bomber went into the Manchester Arena during an Ariana Grande Concert.
● The terrorist attack killed 22 people and injured over a thousand individuals.
● Figen Murray’s son, Martyn Hett, was killed in the attack.
[2:44] About Martyn
● According to Figen, Martyn was life-embracing and full of the joy of life.
● He was always kind, compassionate, and an incredible life force with a wicked sense of humor.
● After his death, Figen received messages from all over the world, telling her how much impact Martyn made in their lives.
[04:42] Forgiving her Son’s Attacker
● Upon first seeing the attacker in the newspaper, Figen froze from shock at how young he was.
● Around three weeks after the Manchester attack, she came upon another photo in the newspaper of people linking their arms to protect someone.
● For Figen, these five men were doing what was humanely the right thing to do.
● She connected these two photos to that of the Manchester attacker and realized that she had a choice to respond.
● So, she decided to go on national television to publicly forgive the man who took her son’s life.
Figen: “Hating somebody who killed my son wouldn’t bring my son back. And it doesn’t solve the problem. It just creates more bitterness.”
[9:13] What Figen Saw in the Attacker
● Figen saw a young man who was determined to carry out his mission.
● She thinks he was brainwashed to think that he was doing the right thing for his cause.
● Most importantly, Figen believes that no one is born a terrorist: circumstances turn people into one.
[10:55] The Grieving Journey
● Figen was criticized for not looking like a grieving mother in the public eye.
● But she has her own way of grieving, and she does it privately.
● Figen ceased her practice as a psychotherapist and life coach because of what she went through.
● She felt that she could not offer the compassion and empathy her patients deserve.
● Her therapy training has enabled her to present herself publicly in a professional, calm, and collected way.
[14:30] Letting Go of the Victim Mentality
● Figen does not see herself as a victim of the situation.
● Since Martin was so life-embracing, she wants to honor him by being the strongest person she can be and doing as many positive things as she can.
● During a terrorist attack, the people who die and get injured are not the only victims.
● In addition, Figen recognizes that the attacker came from a minority background who could have been a victim of his circumstances.
[15:38] Resilience
● Figen acknowledges that her training as a therapist and life coach has helped her become resilient and strong.
● But being determined has always been part of her makeup.
● She remains headstrong and resilient in memory of her son and the other victims.
Figen: “I am now more than ever Martyn’s mom. He’s gone but I can carry on in his name... I can create something good out of something so sinister.”
[18:27] New Purpose
● Figen believes that our lives are predetermined.
● Before the attack, she believed that her purpose was to be a therapist and life coach. After Martyn died, she says a new mission found her.
● She now finds purpose in helping young people exercise their points of view.
Figen: “I think it is really important [young people] recognize that they have a choice [on] how to live their lives, how to see the difference not to fear difference, but see the difference as an enrichment into their own life, and that they only need to be concerned about one human race and that’s humankind.”
● Tune in to the full episode to find out more about Figen’s work in schools!
● Figen used to be an introvert, but that changed after the attack. She is now quite comfortable doing live interviews and speaking to large crowds.
[26:06] Fighting Terrorism and Political Violence with Martyn’s Law
● A year and a half after Martyn died, Figen and her husband went to a small music concert.
● She assumed that after the Manchester attack, security would be tighter in such places. But that was not the case.
● Figen was shocked and devastated by the lack of security. This experience urged her to start an online petition to address the issue and hold authorities accountable.
● Experiencing terrorism and political violence is completely life-changing. Figen hopes no other family goes through that.
● Tune in to the full episode to hear how Martyn’s Law is coming to fruition.
[33:56] On Radicalization and Terrorism Education
● Figen believes that education and training are the keys to helping people gain awareness of terrorism and political violence.
● We should understand that terrorist attacks can strike anywhere.
● Terrorists have taken advantage of the pandemic to radicalize more young people online.
● In her dissertation, she focuses on opening the public’s eye to the dangers of terrorism and political violence. She wants people to be more aware of their security and safety.
[39:20] Security is Shared
● In a crisis, the common reaction is to lay blame.
● However, times have changed, and this simplistic view no longer holds up.
● Now, people can get radicalized online, in their own homes. So, it’s become impossible to police everyone.
● The government and police need to do their jobs, but we should also stand up and take responsibility for our security.
[44:02] Coping Through Creativity
● Figen started knitting to get through inquiries and to cope with her hearing loss. She sells her creations online, which she calls Peace Bears.
● She wanted her bears to symbolize love, tolerance, and kindness—the opposite of terrorism, something born out of hate.
● She also wrote a therapeutic self-help book through the lens of the Peace Bears.
● These creative endeavors have helped Figen cope with stress and grief. She also donates her income from these products to various charities.
About Figen
Figen Murray is a mother and grandmother who has worked as a psychotherapist and life coach for 23 years. In 2017, her life changed forever after losing her son, Martyn Hett, to terrorism and political violence. The terrorist attack has moved her to advocate for and educate people on choosing acts of kindness. She’s also the force behind Martyn’s Law, which pushes for improved security measures against terrorist threats.
If you want to reach out to Figen, you can find her on Twitter. Also, check out her website to learn more about her cause.
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