61. Cooking Is Connecting With Chef Kibby
Food is so much more than just sustenance. The act of preparing food and eating together is a vehicle that strengthens connections with your family. At the same time, cooking with the family instills a sense of comfort and vulnerability, allowing trust and security to take place in the relationship.
In this episode, Chef Kibby joins us to share a self-discovery about transforming his relationships through cooking. He talks about the power of being in the kitchen together to nurture deeper connections. He opens up about the hardships and realizations in creating attachments in foster and adoptive care. Chef Kibby then shares his #CookingIsConnecting 20-Day Challenge to help parents and children develop healthy connections.
Tune in to the episode to discover how cooking with the family creates healing relationships!
3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Learn why food is central to children’s feeling of safety and connection.
Find out how the activity of cooking and eating can create a powerful connection with children.
Discover why inviting someone to the kitchen is the pinnacle of food’s power in creating connection.
For more updates, visit my website or join the community. You may also tune in YouTube.
Resources
● Start your podcasting journey with Simon. Check out his website to learn how you can collaborate with him.
● Take Chef Kibby’s #CookingIsConnecting 20-Day Challenge here!
● Listen to the Cookin’ With Kibby podcast.
● Connect with Chef Kibby: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Youtube channel.
Have any questions? You can connect with me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
Episode Highlights
[2:24] The Power of Cooking and Eating Together
● Chef Kibby has been around the food-service industry for 25 years.
● During COVID, he realized that aside from food, cooking also brings people together.
● Chef Kibby had a thriving family catering business until COVID happened. He sold his business and later built his way up in his home kitchen.
● Dealing with personal baggage as an adoptive father amidst the pandemic was challenging.
● The confluence of his professional and personal lives changed the way he interacted with his children and the kitchen. It fostered a deeper connection.
[4:44] The Importance of Parent-Child Connections
● Chef Kibby began educating himself in modern child psychology and relational neuroscience.
● Children who have previously experienced trauma are most likely to continue suffering. It affects their ability to maintain trust and feel safe connections.
● He realized that he could turn cooking into a language that imparts trust, safety, and connection to his children.
● He wants to share this information with parents to help them understand children’s needs and how cooking can support those needs.
[6:39] Chef Kibby’s Passion for Cooking
● Chef Kibby grew up a picky eater and wasn't exposed to fancy cuisines growing up.
● His first culinary venture happened when he went to Japan.
● He attended the Ohio State University. It was his first time cooking for himself and getting exposed to a wide diversity of food.
● Chef Kibby ended up studying culinary arts to become a certified chef. He eventually started his own catering business and cooking classes.
[8:41] Going into Foster Care
● Their foster adoption journey with his wife started around eight or nine years ago.
● They decided to go into foster care as they weren’t in a financially good place to adopt.
● They have fostered over a dozen children over the years and also had the opportunity to adopt.
● It was difficult for Chef Kibby to develop and nurture natural attachments with the children.
● Chef Kibby used his career as an escape and relied on his wife to give their children what they needed.
[11:12] Foster Care and Cooking
● He lost his escape when the pandemic started. He realized he had to figure out what to change to improve his parenting.
● Cooking has always been a way for him to show empathy for other people.
● A light bulb went off when he began to understand the neuroscience of trauma-informed care.
● The specific light bulb moment happened when her daughter approached her to chop vegetable scraps in the kitchen. Listen to the podcast for the full story!
Chef Kibby: “Cooking is connecting. It's more than just the food; it is the compassion that I am showing and modeling to my children by letting them see me make food for them and then allowing them to be invited into that activity...” - Click to Tweet This
● According to Chef Kibby, cooking with his children fosters a deeper connection with them. It makes them feel safe and trusted; it nurtures healing.
[16:31] Eating, Cooking, and Healing Together
Simon: “I think when we just look at our lives in general, that connecting around the dinner table is a key part of it.” - Click to Tweet This
● Studies have shown that having a meal with the family positively impacts physical and mental health.
● Food is central to a child’s feeling of safety, trust, and connection. Cooking for them allows parents to meet these needs.
● Many foster children have experienced a sense of powerlessness and vulnerability from their upbringing.
● Inviting kids into the kitchen is the pinnacle of the food’s power in relationship building. It allows parents to teach children to meet their needs and those of others.
● Parents need to look at cooking from the standpoint of connecting mentally and emotionally with children. It removes the intimidating aspects of the activity.
[21:46] Chef Kibby’s Reflections as a Father and Chef
● He has learned to trust other people from this experience.
● Sharing a kitchen line with other people lessens his culinary chores.
● The kitchen was his place of comfort, safety, and control. He had to learn to be comfortable with surrendering some of that control.
● Cooking as connecting is about creating new and healthy neural pathways in both you and your child’s mind. It impacts all your interactions.
Chef Kibby: “The nurturing process that we're doing for our bodies in cooking and eating together can also help to nurture our relationships as well.” - Click to Tweet This
[24:40] #CookingIsConnecting 20-Day Challenge
● The 20-day challenge consists of 20 different mindset shift challenges that involve cooking in the kitchen.
● It urges parents to view culinary activities as an opportunity to strengthen familial connections.
● The challenge involves 20 child psychology research-based activities to help develop strong and healthy attached relationships with caregivers.
[28:29] Taking a Negative Situation to Become a Better Person
● The pandemic humbled him and allowed him to see things, himself, and his family differently. He realized he had the agency to make changes in his life.
● The change didn’t happen overnight. He still struggles with some things and doesn’t always get it right.
● With his life story, he hopes that people can resonate with him and encourage them to mend their relationships.
Chef Kibby: “There are all sorts of different therapies out there and activities and retreats and places you can go and hundreds and thousands of dollars you can spend to make changes in your life. But wouldn't it be great if there was something you could do with the knowledge you have, with the tools you have, with the ingredients you have in your pantry to begin to bring about healing in a relationship? ” - Click to Tweet This
About Chef Kibby
Chef Kibby is an executive chef and cooking instructor at Cookin’ with Kibby. Cookin’ with Kibby provides catering solutions for any and every occasion. He teaches culinary skills and creates immersive kitchen encounters for individuals interested in learning how to cook.
Chef Kibby is also a dad to his biological, adopted, and foster kids. He has shifted his professional life to help support foster and adoptive parents through food and cooking.
If you want to reach out to Chef Kibby, you can contact him through his website, Facebook, and Instagram. You can also check out his Youtube channel.
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