49. Navigating Fatherhood: A Resilience Building Journey with Josh Connolly
Parenthood is a tough journey. Knowing that you have lives depending on you is a huge responsibility. Sure, providing their needs such as food, clothes, shelter, and education, is your obligation, but it does not end there. Beyond the material things, you need to be present for your children.
It is hard, especially for those who were unable to receive the love and care of a parent. As the saying goes, you cannot give what you do not have. In this episode, Josh Connolly shares how he overcame his struggles and became a better dad. He also touches on the importance of resilience building and provides tips on how you can embark on this journey of understanding your emotions.
Tune in to the full episode to gain fresh insights on fatherhood and resilience building!
3 reasons why you should listen to the full episode:
Be inspired by Josh’s journey from alcoholic to resilience coach.
Learn how to better navigate fatherhood.
Discover how you can build resilience.
Resources
● Connect with Josh: Website | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | Youtube | LinkedIn.
● Tales to Inspire (podcast)
Episode Highlights
[2:17] Josh’s Background
● He is a resilience coach: he helps people and organizations with resilience building and gaining a new perspective on the concept.
● His life experiences—having an absent father, drug and alcohol addiction—led him to his work in resilience building.
● At age 18, Josh became a father.
● He did not want his child to experience what he went through, so he married his son’s mum. They went on to have four kids.
● However, his choice to stay in that toxic relationship led to a broken home.
[6:10] Seeking Fatherly Love
● His father died when he was nine. Josh traces back his trauma to having an absent, alcoholic father.
● After becoming a father himself, he sometimes wonders how his dad truly felt about him.
● Children naturally attach to their parents. Josh experienced an unhealthy attachment to his father.
● He tried to mend this wound through addiction and violence.
[10:13] Early Fatherhood Struggles
● Growing up without a father figure, Josh had no idea how fatherhood worked.
● Emotionally, he was numb, to the point where he could not relate to his kids.
Josh: “What I recognize today is that if I can't be with myself in my own emotions, then I won't be able to be with my kids in their emotions.”
● He has a better time relating with his children, after doing resilience-building work and changing his life.
● In his darkest days, Josh sometimes felt that he hated his kids.
● He struggled with the lack of open conversations about fatherhood, and because no one ever showed him how to be a good dad.
[19:16] The Turning Point
● All Josh ever wanted as a child was to be a good dad and not a drunk.
● Nine months after he quit drinking, he planned to take his own life because he could not deal with the pain.
● When he went to bid his kids goodbye, he experienced being truly present for his kids for the first time. He changed his mind and saw the beauty of parenthood.
● He now realizes that more than his amazing work on resilience building and coaching, his kids care about quality time.
Josh: “They care about when I sit down and when I'm with them, and when I put my phone away, and I be with them.”
● He tries to be present for his kids, as much as possible, especially because he missed a lot with his first child.
[25:55] Being Honest
● We’ve been taught in school that we should have our lives figured out by age 18.
● However, Josh realized that we’re all still winging it.
● When you ‘out’ yourself, you can start working on your weaknesses.
[29:00] The Role of Women in Fatherhood
Simon: “Women do play a big part in the roles and sort of shepherding us to become the men that we are today for sure.”
● Josh commends his mum for raising him all on her own.
● He also admits that his wife holds the reins when it comes to parenting in their home.
● According to Josh, his wife reigns when it comes to parenting.
[31:53] Looking Back
● Josh now realizes that his dad also suffered from untreated trauma.
● The difference is, Josh was able to stop his alcoholism and his dad didn’t.
● He wishes he knew how to stop addiction so he could save his loved ones’ lives.
[35:37] Understanding Emotions and Building Resilience
● All our emotions are valid and make sense—we don’t need others to validate them.
● For Josh, resilience-building is about understanding your struggles and making sure that your needs are being met.
● Resilience building also involves connecting and being vulnerable with others.
About Josh
Josh Connolly is a father of six and a resiliency coach based in England. He helps different people and various organizations all over the world start resilience building. He offers resilience workshops to destigmatize mental health in workplaces.
Josh is also a renowned speaker, consultant, and ambassador on mental health and addiction activism. Josh is also a father of six kids.
If you would like to hear more about Josh and his journey, you may reach out and connect with him through his social links: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, and LinkedIn.
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